En kopp te, et stort vindu, skyting i Kolstadgata og @oslopolitiops på Twitter

Det finnes dem som aldri ville finne på å sette sin fot på østkanten, især ikke på Tøyen. Jeg er ikke en av dem.

Tvert imot er jeg strålende fornøyd med min nye residens. Jeg bor naturligvis på Nedre Kampen og ikke Tøyen (eller den rette siden av Kjølberggata, om du vil) ifølge eiendomsmegleren som solgte meg leiligheten min. For min del er det ikke så vesentlig hvilken side av Kjølberggata jeg befinner meg på. Det viktige er at jeg har et stort vindu ut mot gata, som gir meg full oversikt derfor hver gang politiet rykker ut.

Jeg har nemlig ikke fått rigga opp min 20 tommer store TV enda.

Derfor har jeg i stedet plassert den fine dagsenga mi, laget av min oldefar, ved vinduet. Med nakken godt støttet opp av fancy, dyre designerputer (denne detaljen er med til ære for vestkantfolket som tror vi østkantmennesker kun handler på IKEA og Nille), en kopp te i karmen, Ralph ved beina mine og Mac-en på fanget, tilbringer jeg kveldene med å følge oslopolitiets twitteraktivitet, samtidig som jeg spaner etter blålys.

Fra denne dagsenga følger Ralph og jeg med på politiets aktiviteter på Tøyen.

Med tanke på rapporter om skyting på Tøyen flere helger på rad, tør jeg påstå at det er en spennende hobby. Torsdag var det endog full utrykning tvers over gata. Tre brannbiler, to ambulanser og flere politibiler var på stedet på grunn av mistanke om brann. Riktignok viste det seg å være falsk alarm (zalo på varm kokeplate, meldte @oslopolitiops), men det var spennende så lenge det varte.

Drama i Hagegata. Men “brannen” viste seg å være zalo på en varm kokeplate.

Fredag kveld har jeg observert fire politibiler rykke ut, og melder følgende på Twitter:

“Politiet rykket ut til området Kolstadgata 7; melding om skudd avfyrt. Trolig avfyrt skudd, men gjerningsmenn forlatt stedet før vi kom fram”.

Hvem trenger Skavlan da?

Blonde, Russian girl on Red-Line

I have a guilty pleasure. I love reading the personals on Craigslist. Nope, not the casual encounters (quite frankly someone should tell these guys that posting a picture of a penis does not increase chances of getting a reply).

However I simply cannot resist the missed connections. Imagine you see a guy or girl on the bus or metro, or from a mile away. Maybe you share a few words, a glance, or maybe he/she isn’t even aware of your stare.

Regardless, you are feeling a major attraction. How do you ever get in touch with this perfect specimen? Approach him/her and start a conversation? Maybe ask for the attractive specimen’s phone number?

Oh no, God forbid you actually take advantage of having him/her in front of you.

Oh no, instead you post an ad in the missed connections section in hopes that the other person by some random chance will be reading the missed connections, realizing you are talking about him or her, decide that this is not creepy at all and email you back.

And then you live happily ever after!

The ad might go something like this (real ad from Craigslist DC):

“Starbucks – m4w 33 (Leesburg)

This a complete shot in the dark. We were both at Starbucks this morning. I was waiting on my coffee and you must have been waiting on someone. You were in a dress and I must say that you looked great in it. We made eye contact often. Love to buy you a coffee sometime.”

As the poster correctly assumes, an add on missed connections does not have a very high success rate. Which is why the really smart posters do things the right way:

“Blonde, Russian Girl on Red-Line – m4w (red-line)

We smiled but I never got chance to talk to you. Me; wm, tall, good looking, blue suit, dark hair, eyes. Let’s talk. Finding this girl is a long shot so any girl reading this is welcome to email me.”

Yup, the Russian chick is smokin, but honestly, at this point anything resembling a female will suffice.

It is simply brilliant. I love missed connections.

I would love to meet you again blonde, Russian girl. However, any female who reads this ad would work. No, I am not desperate!

The Complexity of a Texan

Being from Texas can be tough, especially once you migrate from the south and into the more liberal parts of this vast country.

When you tell people you are from Texas, the response might be something along the lines of, “oh, cool. Do you wear cowboy boots and a hat?” Naturally it is all said in a joking manner.

However, what is not included in the actual response, but is lingering on the mind of the liberal the Texan encounters, is something akin to this, “You are from Texas. Hence, you must wear a cowboy hat and boots all the time, love God, fastfood, George Bush, Rick Perry, Glenn Beck and guns, hate government, taxes, education, anything that includes the word social (whether or not an ism is irrelevant) and all liberals, and strongly believe that Obama was not born in the US.”

Now, since I have acquired a Texan I would like to show the fairly unknown complexity of a Texan:

Yes, Texans do wear their hats with great sense of pride...

However, you might also find a Texan playing a guitar and singing into a floor lamp...

Contrary to popular belief you may also stumble upon a Texan engaging in physical activity, such as biking...

The Texan may also leave his hat and boots at home at times, and instead dress like a Hollywood star...

The Texan may also show a cultural side at times, including, but not limited to country music...

The Texan could also have a creative side to him, which leads him to create coat racks and such... (not all Texans come with this skill set)...

These are just a few of the different sides a Texan might show.

So next time you run into a Texan who has migrated into your liberal world, don’t judge him before you get to know him.

This post was sponsored by the Committee To Protect Texans Who Have Migrated To The Liberal North (CTPTWHMTTLN).

A Pretty Awesome Blog

No, I am not referring to mine (though it’s totally ok if you think my blog is very, somewhat or at least a little awesome).

I am not one of those truly adventurous online surfers – I pretty much make the same rounds every day (a number of Norwegian newspapers of varying quality, Washington Post, Huffington Post, CNN, a few cake blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, Wikipedia to look up whatever random topic of the day I decides needs research…you get the idea). I am not the kind of surfer who would accidentally stumble upon creepy porn sites or what lamps are bet for growing illegal substances.

This picture has nothing to do with this blog post, but I figured the blog needed a picture, and I like the saying, so there you go!

However, once in a while I will venture off into the online world on a search for new additions to my daily rounds.

This is how I discovered what is possibly my new favorite blog. The Everywherist is in short a blog by a lady whose husband travels a lot through his job. When she  was laid off, she decided to follow her husband around the world.

And blog about it.

It’s witty, entertaining, well written and charming. I like! If you’re not already following the blog (as aforementioned I tend to be a little slow at discovering some of the online awesomeness), you probably should.

And you should probably also let me know about other great blogs I am missing out on.

Just Another Thursday Night Shootout

I am no expert as far as what gun shots sound like.

However, when I took the dog out last night I heard a loud bang. After a few seconds I heard several more bangs. Since I have a thing for action I concluded there was drama in my hood.

The Texan agreed, especially after we heard sirens all over the place shortly after…

This morning we found out there had been a shootout between a neighbor down the street and the cops. So many shots were fired that the police had to use a rake to collect all the bullet casings.

The perp is apparently in critical condition after being shot by the cops.

Sweet hood I live in!

Stephen Colbert for President?

This blog post will bring up two important issues. One is the presidential election. The other is my top five list.

What is the top five list, you might ask. Please let me explain. I am all for monogamy in a relationships. However, there are a select few situations that legitimize infidelity. These situations can be summed up into a list of five celebrity names.

In the unlikely event that you run into one of the five people on your list, your partner is required to give you a thumbs up to go for it. Of course the list is fixed. You can’t throw George Clooney into the mix if you meet him and he wasn’t originally on your list. That is just wrong!

So how does this relate to the title of this blog post? Quite obvious, if I may say so myself. Mr. Colbert is one of the five names on my list. And he is also running for president.

The Texan and I are a good team, but I know I have his blessing to wander off into the White House arm in arm with Stephen Colbert if the opportunity should arise 😉

After polls in South Carolina showed Colbert was ranked ahead of Republican candidate Jon Huntsman, he announced the big news on his show – The Colbert Report. There was one issue though. Colbert was running his own Super-PAC (Political Action Committee). You just can’t do that according to federal election law, as it means you are coordinating with yourself, and a candidate cannot coordinate with a PAC.

Therefore Jon Stewart is now running the super-PAC which has been renamed from “Stephen Colbert Super-PAC” to “The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super-PAC” and rumor has it they are already buying air time for political ads for Colbert.

You can watch Colbert announce his presidential project here.

Is this a serious attempt at running for president? By all means no, but I would love if it were – especially since he’s on my top five list, it would mean I’d have a shot at putting a president on my resumé 😉

Finally – and slightly off topic –  many of my fellow Norwegians out there seem to believe Ron Paul is a good choice for president in the US. Sure, he wants to withdraw the military from the Middle East, but seriously people, apart from that he is a complete and utter nut case.

I Want, I Want!

I have yet again entered the world of sports retail – as the equipment manager at the new City Sports in Silver Spring.

A few weeks into my new job I am loving it. My coworkers are great, the store looks lovely and the customers are friendly and excited about us being there.

There is actually only one thing I don’t like about my new job. Temptation, temptation, temptation. Being surrounded by all this amazing stuff from my favorite brands could be my financial downfall.

Though I have resisted thus far I am pretty sure I will soon give in to the temptation.

Therefore I encourage you, friends, family and strangers with a big heart, to donate to the Charity for My Well-being (unfortunately this is not a non-profit, so no tax write-offs). Or you can just buy me stuff. Either way, if you do I will love you unconditionally until the end of time (or until I feel like I need more stuff) 😉

Here’s some of the stuff I think I won’t be able to live without:

The Marmot Milan Jacket - It was love at first sight.

Smartwool Midweight Crew - Just the thought of wearing this makes me feel warm and happy!

Tretorn Sofiero Boot - I wouldn't mind singing in the rain with these on my feet.

 

Garmin Forerunner 210W - Move over my old HRM. I want the Garmin.

 

The North Face Etip Glove - You know how annoying it is to get really cold fingers when using your smart phone outside in the winter.? With the Etip Glove the problem is solved.

I want, I want!

 

Speaking of City Sports, if you happen to be in the Silver Spring area Saturday, you should stop by at 10am. It’s the grand opening party, with free gift bags for the first 100 customers through the doors, and a chance to win free shoes for a year! There’s also going to be a 5K fun run and lots of other good stuff.

For more details, check out citysports.com!

 

 

No lutefisk for you friendo!

Washington DC is undoubtedly one of the most international cities you can find.

This has of course resulted in a myriad of international restaurants and eateries. Greek, Ethiopian, Jamaican, Peruvian, Mexican (the southerners claim there are no good Mexican restaurants in this area, but that’s a different story), Italian, French, Vietnamese…you name it!

However, when I did a Yelp search for Norwegian food I came up completely empty handed. Widening my search for Scandinavian food I got two hits.

One was IKEA (oh yeah, meatballs and lingonberry sauce served up in a furniture store apparently counts as a restaurant).

The other one was a Polish Scandinavian hybrid, serving a random mix of Polish, Czech, Hungarian, Swedish meatballs and Norwegian pancakes…

In other words, if you feel like opening up a Scandinavian restaurant in DC you have approximately zero competition. On the other hand it can be question whether there really is a great market for lutefisk and smalahove (sheep’s head)…

The famous Norwegian dish lutefisk. Does it make your mouth water?

Doesn't smalahove - sheep's head - look like a delicious choice for Sunday dinner?